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[07 Jul 2005|09:30pm] |
oh and new LJ
www.livejournal.com/~supz___cuntgirl
add away, mother fuckers.
♥
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[26 Apr 2005|01:41pm] |
Um...duh.
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[07 Dec 2004|08:59pm] |
My grandfather died last night and I feel guilty for a lot of things concerning him.
I get to see Anthony tonight and that makes me happier than I can explain.
I have three more finals this week.
I love my brothers very much.
Cream soda is my favorite drink ever. Especially in a glass bottle.
I wish my hair would grow back to the way it was before I cut it this summer.
I love Morrissey.
I won't be able to have a cigarette all weekend. Starting Thursday.
I want to be photogenic again.
My roomate is moving out on Friday.
I had a sandwich for dinner tonight.
I'm horny.
I'm making mixed tapes for people for Christmas.
I really want to hang out with Sammi, Willow, and Mia.
I miss my friends.
The jeans I have on have upwards of seven holes in them.
I've taken two showers today.
I'm wearing blue Christmas socks.
I'm taking my math final early tomorrow. I was supposed to take it on Friday.
I have two pimples that won't go away.
I'm listening to the Garden State soundtrack.
I care for you a lot.
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| This is copied from a post in my xanga. |
[06 Dec 2004|05:08pm] |
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music |
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Morrissey - Sing Your Life |
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My Christmas Wish List
I wish I got along with people better.
I wish I always had money and could buy the people I care about nice things for Christmas.
I wish my mom didn't have to work so hard all of the time.
I wish I was pretty and didnt have to spend forever putting on makeup just to look decent.
I wish I could stick to what I say I'm going to do (work out, be nicer, etc.)
I wish I could make decisions for myself better.
I wish people, including myself, could keep from talking badly about other people.
I wish I was as creative and artsy as I pretend to be.
I wish I could control my emotions and keep people happy.
I wish I was more knowledgeable and cultured.
I wish I wasn't so stressed about my finals.
I wish you a merry Christmas.
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[02 Dec 2004|09:16pm] |
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im a shitty girlfriend.
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[01 Dec 2004|07:29pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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Bright Eyes |
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Okay. Let me first start by saying that I have no problem WHAT SO EVER with people who are straight edge. That's cool. As a matter of fact, I'm glad that they have those kinds of morals and values for themselves and that they are acting on what they believe. I think everyone should act on what they believe.
I DO NOT, however, appreciate it when someone who is straight edge lectures me about not being straight edge myself. I have a friend that does this just about every time we talk.
So today, I'm start a conversation with this friend and ask "how are you?" He replied "not very good," and, me being the good friend I am, asked him why he wasn't doing so good. I got the dreaded "don't worry about it" which pisses me off in itself because it's the fucking internet. If you're not doing good, but you don't want me to know why, you can say "fine" and I'll never know the difference. This guy and I had been friends for a while and I don't like it when my friends aren't doing good, so I ask him again why he's not doing good and he proceeds to tell me that he no longer believes in God and that going to church is pointless. While I don't go to church as much as I should, I'm still going to defend what I believe. The rest of the conversation went something like this:
him: and im realizing a bunch of stuff about religion right now
him: and yeah
me: im interested, but i wont pry.
him: well at the moment
him: i've realized im agnostic
him: thats about it
me: oh wow
him: wow..?
me: no, i just...since you always lecture me about smoking and sex and stuff...im sorry. i shouldnt assume things.
him: smokings stupid.
him: it does nothing good for you.
him: thats common sense.
him: second, being a whore isn't good.
me: i also believe being agnostic does nothing for you
him: that's about the extent of that.
me: and im not a whore
me: that was really offensive
me: i have a boyfriend
me: i dont press my beliefs on you
me: its one thing to voice your opinion, its another to lecture me
him: fuck it
him: you asked
Ugh. Some people are very frustrating.
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[30 Nov 2004|02:50pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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I'm getting a new roomate. She's really good friends with one of the girls I live with, so things will be better.
I've gone on a spray painting streak lately. Anthony stayed up really late a few nights ago making spray-painted bags, and last night I almost did some shirts, but I didn't feel well so I ended up going to sleep instead so I could sleep off my headache. I feel better today, so I may do some more when I get done doing the Christmas tree with my mom and my brothers.
I'm so sick of the rain here.
I think I know what I'm getting everyone on my Christmas list. Anthony's was hard, but I've ordered half now and I'm going to be getting the other half on Thursday before I leave for his house for a few days. 26 more days until Christmas.
Hey, I love you.
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| Random Thoughts... |
[24 Nov 2004|09:26am] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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4 Non Blondes - What's Going On |
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I sort of want a pager. I think if I had one, every time it went off I would pretend like it was a call to save the world and go off like a superhero. It would be like the big light they put up for batman, except mine would be a pager.
I'm getting bug bites lately, and I don't see how that's possible. It's 50 degrees outside. There ARENT bugs out there. Crazy.
Everyone went home for the holiday yesterday, but I decided to stay one more night in my dorm. It was quiet and personal and I like it that way. I danced to bad 90's music in my underwear. I had no idea that MC Hammer brings out the ability to do the running man.
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[23 Nov 2004|12:53am] |
It's getting hard to fall asleep knowing he's not next to me.
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[20 Nov 2004|10:30pm] |
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music |
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Deathcab for Cutie |
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Do you ever have one of those moments in a relationship where you step back and realize that you truly, honestly love that person with every ounce of you?
I had one of those moments tonight.
I'm at Anthony's house now. I just finished a few touches on our Christmas tree (yes, we have it up already, heh) and Anthony's in the shower. It's not like today was extraordinary in any way...we woke up, went into the shop, stayed there all day, went to Wal Mart and Old Navy and then went to eat some Italian and came home. It wasn't like we did anything very special. But earlier tonight, I was in the room putting up some decorations and Anthony was walking to the door to start some laundry and about halfway there, he turned around, walked back to me, kissed my shoulder and said "I love you," and then turned back around and walked out. It's moments like that, just simple moments, that make me realize that I am so lucky to be where I am and I'm so grateful to have been in the right place at the right time. I truly want to be with him for the rest of my life. I guess some people would say it's too soon to know that, but when was there a time limit set on something like that?
It's ironic that Thanksgiving is coming up. I'm so thankful to be in love with such a selfless, exciting, amazing and interesting person. I love him.
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[15 Nov 2004|08:44pm] |
There is no love on livejournal.
Boo.
I love my xanga.
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| Yay! |
[02 Nov 2004|12:35pm] |
So I had about 30 minutes before class this morning and wanted to piss off the snotty republican girls that sit in the back of the class. This could have been 2032948329048 times more rad if I had the time, but oh well. Yay for me.
Happy Voting!
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| Yipes. |
[28 Oct 2004|09:59pm] |
I almost forgot I had an LJ. Nice.
Yesterday was Anthony's birthday. We had an awesome time. He's amazing.
Random pics...some from that and some just of us being dumb.
He'll hate me for this one (I'm sorry, babe!). I just think he looks adorable in it.
We were watching a movie with my little brother in 3D. Hah. How Rad.
Heh, LONG ride home.
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[21 Oct 2004|07:02pm] |
Rad, rad day.
New shoes and new pink tights sure do make a girl happy.
Decided to take some random pictures. I'm retarded. I won't do it much more. I promise. =)
Pink Tights!
Less than a week until somebody's birthday...
...get ready. It's gonna be awesome, you just wait.
I'm so unbelievably happy. It's incredible.
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| Things I Learned In The Fifth Grade... |
[20 Oct 2004|10:37pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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Haha. That made me laugh.
But in all seriousness.
This is what I meant.
Grammar is your friend.
Punctuation is your friend.
Our dear Mr. Webster is your friend. (a.k.a. spelling, kiddos)
interworkings = wrong
inner workings = right
occassion = wrong
occasion = right
stabalizers = wrong
stabilizers = right
bindges = wrong
binges = right
obviouse = wrong
obvious = right
douchbag = wrong
douche bag = right
(If you're going to insult me, at least do it correctly.)
wieght = wrong
weight = right
heffers = wrong
heifers = right
reffering = wrong
referring = right
themsleves = wrong
themselves = right
escallated = wrong
escalated = right
sympthy = wrong
sympathy = right
hillariouse = wrong
hilarious = right
appearantly = wrong
apparently = right
Wow.
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| Gah. I hate writing long posts. |
[19 Oct 2004|10:40pm] |
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mood |
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frustrated |
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music |
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Bright Eyes |
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I have a hicky. I've had it since Sunday afternoon. I feel like I'm in jr high. Hah. It makes me laugh a lot. I was going to take a picture but you can't really see it when I do. Ah, it's okay. It's just funny when I catch people that I'm talking to looking at it. Hah. Nice.
[insert deep breath here]
So, I try really, really hard to get along with people. If I can't get along with them, I usually just don't talk about them because I think talking bad about people all the time or taking shots at someone is childish.
All of this has come to a screeching halt.
There's this girl. I can't stand this girl. I haven't been able to since the beginning. First thing she does is send me a message mouthing the guy I'm dating and just going on and on and on about how awful he is. What made her think I'd really give a shit about what she thought in the first place is beyond me...honestly, it just made it apparent that she wasn't over him and was a bit obsessive. I'll admit that she did send me an apology message after that, but not until after I had told Anthony what she was saying. Needless to say, I didn't reply to either of them. I just figured "why bother with it?"
So, time goes by and I start up an LJ (yay!). I come across hers and find her constant complaining, drunkardness, and ranting about her ex/my current boyfriend funny, so I read it from time to time. When a person starts looking at something like that, they begin to notice a trend. I posted my third post and said that I loved Anthony in it - she posts about how much she can't stand him. I post a picture of my Halloween costume and there is a post on her myspace about how she can't stand skimpy Halloween costumes (about a week later she also posts a picture of her skimpy Halloween costume...I can't stand hypocrisy). I post about wanting to lose weight and she goes on this whole kick about how she can't stand anorexic girls (then follows up with a post about how she dropped a pants size). Then, she decides to write about how she still dreams about him and is attracted to him and such, which I honestly find extremely offensive. Just because I'm only 18 does not mean that I'm stupid or oblivious to the fact that she is taking stabs at me. Funny thing is that this girl doesn't know me at all. Apparantly, we're back in high school where we get mad at the new girlfriend even if she did nothing wrong to begin with. I guess I didn't get the memo.
Here's the deal, girl. I'm sorry that you're not happy. Really. I honestly wish you were because then you would not be so obsessed about making other people's lives hell because they are happy. Honestly, I could give a fuck about what you say about Anthony on there. What he tells me is the truth and I have no reason to question what he says, especially if it's you saying that he's as bad as he is. You can sit there and mouth about me and the fact that I wear skimpy Halloween costumes and weigh less than 110 lbs all you want, even though you don't know a thing about me, because it's not going to screw up what Anthony and I have. You weren't together that long. Get over it and go bother someone else. He obviously does not want you anymore. And, if you have something to say, I suggest you just get my number or sn or something and take it up with me there rather than writing things about me constantly in your LJ. At least be somewhat of an adult about it for a change.
I'm sure there was more I wanted to say, but I'm tired and have other things to do.
With that said, have a nice night, kiddos.
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[18 Oct 2004|06:15pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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music |
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Garden State Soundtrack |
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I am utterly, completely, totally, head-over-heels in love.
I'm happy. Why is it so hard for people to just be happy and just be glad for other people that are happy? I'm happy. I am in love with the most amazing guy. Amazing. The best part about it is that I am totally myself - more so than I ever have been in a relationship with anyone. I've always tried to please the guy I was with and turn into what I thought they wanted me to be. With Anthony, it's not like that, because I already am what he wants. He's so incredible to be around. We can have the best time just sitting on a curb or playing in the pine needles or having frostys at Wendy's or getting lost in Ponka...I have more fun with him than I do with anyone else. I'm not afraid to be myself around him. There's really no other word for what we have other than amazing, if there even is a word to describe it to begin with.
I'm happy. People should be happy. Everyone has things they wish they didn't have going on in their lives, but why always focus on them? Why can't people be glad that other people are happy? I'm glad that I'm happy.
[This is what happens to you after being on the road for an unGodly amount of hours]
I'm down to 103 now. I find that hard to believe because I've eaten more in the past few days than I have in a long time. But yay nonetheless.
Some girls make me laugh. A lot. I find entertainment in them. I'm not sure if that's bad or not.
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xxcloseyoureyes's journal
melancholy
